I confess that I don't always do the right thing, I love the Lord and I know I am saved, but I still smoke and just can't seem to quit, every time I try some major thing happens and I pick them back up. I also am in a lot of pain almost daily, I don't like taking perscription pills, so I smoke weed, I know I shouldn't, but I can't seem to get myself to fully rely on the Lord for a healing, I get a little twinge of pain and I think Oh Lord here we go again. and I battle and battle until I have made it 1000 times worse and then smoke a bowl I feel like the biggest hypocrite on the planet.

Friday, September 25 2009

i confess dear lord i need you more than ever. i confess in my past i was not close to you as i should have been, but i now will put you first in all things.

Friday, September 11 2009

i confess that i worry over everything, and always want thigns my way--help me Jesus

Saturday, August 1 2009

I can never let go no matter how hard i try. please lord help me.

Friday, July 31 2009

I confess that id rather avoid a situation than deal with it. I confess that im never happy, for more than a day. God help me be happy. please forgive me

Friday, July 31 2009

I confess that i make promises with God and break them. I say things without knowing or thinking how they will effect other people. I confess that i pray and pray and pray, but still want god to answer things the way i have created/imagined them to be. I confess that sometimes i feel it would be better to be in a relationship..than alone..even if that relationship isnt good for me. i confess i am lonely. i fall down a lot. i confess that i make it a priority to have a man in my life or i dont feel worthy, loved, accepted. father Please forgive me.

Friday, July 31 2009

Lord I confess that I had angry thoughts because of my estranged spouse and his activities. He has been running up credit cards, going out-bars/clubs, eating out, etc. and yet when he sees me seems to want sex (just because) but doesn't want a commitment or to try to work on the marriage. I feel angry and then I can't concentrate or I get testy w/our 6 year old daughter. Forgive me for my sins.

Wednesday, June 10 2009

I hurt him and I am sorry. I wanted to really let him know I hate the way hewon't listen or give Honest try to make our relationship work. I hate him HATE HIS REJECTION>>>>
I don't want to use the word hate anymore ,

Wednesday, June 10 2009

I am so desparate for his love and affection.
I haveears for our ha prayedppiness, bu for yt we always fall apart. We try over and over but we always loose our joy of being together over stupid differences. Lord I should stop looking at a spell as the answer. Forgive me... LOrd

Tuesday, June 2 2009

I feel like I'm losing faith in everything. I'm losing faith in the idea of redemption and restoration of a beautiful relationship with my ex girlfriend, and I'm finding it increasingly harder to feel God and even be able to accept his will--I don't know what that is or if he's even doing anything. Am I being tested or is this how it is? Anyway, here's my most recent prayer:My girlfriend and I had an abortion last year; we were very much in love before and during the pregnancy, but became scared and made what I now know was the wrong decision. It has been eating me away every single day. Enough time has passed to where our child would be alive now. After this, the drinking on our ends grew out of control and we fought all the time. I smashed several of our belongings while screaming the most horrible things at Carrie and was taken away. 2 weeks later, she began dating someone else with no job. This was just over 5 months ago now. I have prayed every single day since December to be back with her and have asked you to all do the same. Most people said they'd pray for God's Will (see my other prayer posts) and that wasn't good enough for me. But I now know that I need to let go: God has not given her back to me and she still wants to see me as a monster-she has an incredible knack to believe in her own delusions, to forget everything good I did and convince herself and others I'm an evil person who hated and hurt her. Her boyfriend is now in jail for 90 days, maybe that's God answering my prayers partly-she has such a history of letting people take advantage of her, and now she's hurting because this jobless user is out of her life for 90 days, this person who is supposed to be her number one fan and her companion, the person who's supposed to always be there for her-I wanted prayers asking God to open her eyes so as to see what she’s really missing by not having him and see what she’ll really miss by forgetting about me; I wanted prayers asking God to turn her heart (he did turn Pharoh’s heart)-I thought that faith would bring us back together, but it was faith in us and Not Faith in God's Will. So now, I ask that you please pray these things: 1-Carrie be blessed and protected, happy and safe. 2. Carrie remembers the real me and 3. That I learn to Let Go and Let God back into my life. That I learn to accept his will over my own. It's very hard right now, because I don't know how to let go. I still love her so much. God's will is difficult to perceive, I don't know what to believe anymore. I really wish you'd pray that just one of us (and I don't care which one it is) opens our eyes and is able to accept people for what they really are.

Monday, June 1 2009